Did you ever feel all alone even though your whole family was in the house with you? I do all the time. I have a very basic role in my house. I am the one who does all the scheduling, cleaning, generally the one who keeps the whole family machine running. I have a daughter, husband and my elderly father lives here as well. However, a lot of the time I feel alone here. I have a very kind and loving spouse. He would never hurt me physically or cheat on me and he provides us with a beautiful place to live. However, with all this comes his entitlement.
Here's how it goes, he has a very stressful job and he's the primary bread winner, therefore he deserves "down time." Every night off, he must go out and unwind and have a couple drinks, he gets to sleep in on days off. He has to go shoot on days off. He does work outside on days off. He doesn't clean inside, that's my job. He handles the grass and the yard etc. Outside jobs.
Today..his bullshit is really pissing me off. I wanted to relax and unwind all day after I went to Sunday School with my daughter (this is also my job). However, there was laundry, we have a new puppy and Parker needed a bath. Not to mention I had to make chicken parm for dinner. So, there wasn't much down time for me. Nate on the other hand, left the house and went to shoot at 12:00pm. Although dinner was at 5pm, he strolled in at 5:40pm. He ate and is now snoring on the couch. Today, I am tired of his selfishness. I don't know why? But today, I am pissed. That is why I am writing this.
I am so proud of myself for e360fit.com. Why? Because it is mine. I don't have to share any of this with my family. I made the videos on my own. The training and the workouts are mine. My relationships with my clients are mine. I have poured the real me into this site and I hope I help someone and I hope I bring someone some happiness. Someday my little site will be a big success. These things take time. Right now, I have 3 clients and 8 people subscribed for subscriptions. You know what? I am GRATEFUL. About 10 years ago I got sober. Since that day, I pray on my knees every single night.
I pray for others, I pray for the health of my family, I pray for the sick and suffering, I pray for my cancer survivors in the Livestrong at the Y programs, I pray for the homeless and the sick and suffering, I pray for the families who have lost children and now...I thank God every night for my 8 subscribers and 3 clients. I pray I can help them. I pray I will make a difference. I pray I bring a little ray of positive light to them.
So thank you, thank you for being here. Thank you for taking away my loneliness in a house full of people. Thank you for giving me purpose. This little site has helped me cope. It has given me power. It has changed my life. I thank you all so much. I am going to keep going.
I'm not even mad at Nate anymore. I am so glad I typed this. This has given me drive and fire to deliver MORE to all of you!!! I love you guys so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank YOU!!!
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